Category Archives: Christian Love

Responding Biblically to Power-Players

15 Tuesday May 2018

Posted by in Christian Love, Discernment, False Teachers, Hypocricy, Practical Theology, Spiritual Warfare, The Believing 21st Centruy American Woman, The Church

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“My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” James 5:19-20, ESV

Before we can respond Biblically to power-players in the church, we must be able to recognize power-play for what it is, and we must be able to resist the temptations of reacting to it in an unbiblical manner. In one sense, recognition and resistance is passive response. However, responding Biblically to sin in the church requires more than discerning recognition and passive resistance, it also calls for loving confrontation.

Not every situation in the church is going to warrant confrontation, and in some circumstances, we are not able to confront the problem as directly as we would like. However, when we can, we will do well to help a brother or sister in the Lord turn away from behavior that harms the church and grieves the Holy Spirit. The following are four steps to responding Biblically to power-play in the church.

  1. Take responsibility personally and corporately to deal with sin. The Word admonishes us, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Galatians 6:1 ESV). Of course, we must mind our own ‘p’s and ‘q’s first, but then we must be willing to make efforts to restore a brother or sister caught in sin. This takes prayerful confession of personal sin, humble vulnerability, and genuine love for the person that we are confronting.
  2. Reason frankly with your brother. Leviticus 19:17 says, “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him.” This verse goes right along with the New Testament admonitions for conflict resolution among believers (See Matthew 18:15-20; Luke 17:3; 2 Thessalonians 3:15). I choose the Leviticus reference for this point because it emphasizes the truth that reasoning frankly with an offending party is a means to preventing bitterness from taking root in our hearts. We really do need to reason with our brothers and sisters when we are attempting to deal with issues of sin. We need to have concrete examples of sin patterns that the Scripture clearly identifies as sin, and then we must be willing to explain our concerns in a logical, sensible CALM manner. The New Testament teaches that ‘reasoning frankly’ with a brother should first be attempted privately and always in a spirit of meekness.
  3. Allow time for the seed of frank reasoning to germinate in the soul of your brother or sister. If after a reasonable amount of time, you see no change of behavior or attitude, the command of Christ requires that we attempt to confront the professing brother or sister again. The second confrontation should be handled as the first, except we are to take another believer with us (See Matthew 18:15-20). This step, of course, will require that we speak to another believer in the congregation about what we are seeing. In and of itself, it is not gossip or slander to talk about this sort of situation with another believer, but we should be careful that we do not use the necessity to share the details of the circumstance with another believer as an opportunity to sin.
  4. If still, the power-broker is unrepentant then we have no choice but to bring the offense to the church. The way in which we do this will differ from church to church. However, it will likely require bringing the situation to the attention of the leadership of the church and following their lead in the specifics of dealing with the situation from this point forward. Lord willing, all of this will ultimately result in the repentance of the erring brother and the return of harmony to the fellowship (Matthew 18:15-20).

It may be that the power-play is an issue within the leadership of the church. That is tacky and complicated. This is not a situation with which I am, personally, unfamiliar. If this is your situation, I want to encourage you – you are not without recourse. There is yet a higher court to which you can appeal. When Abraham appealed to the Lord on behalf of his nephew Lot, he asked, “…Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?” (Genesis 18:25 ESV). The obvious answer to his rhetorical question is, “Yes! He certainly will, in His own time and in His way.” Until then, we wait. We wait prayerfully, hopefully, humbly, and with wisdom (Luke 18:1-8; 1 Corinthians 10:13; James 3:13-18; 1 Peter 5:10).

I close this post series with a quote from the 1689 London Baptist Confession. This passage was of great consolation to me when over a three-year period my family was tried in the fires of dealing with power-play in church leadership structures. At the height of our difficulty, my husband and I were counseled by our denominational pastor to read Psalm 55, 56, and 57 together each night. For several months we prayerfully read those Psalms, and they were of great comfort to our souls. But it was this quote from the 1689 that God used most to keep us committed to our church family, despite the very real temptation to throw in the towel and give up on the organized church.

“No church members, upon any offence taken by them, having performed their duty required of them towards the person they are offended at, ought to disturb any church-order, or absent themselves from the assemblies of the church, or administration of any ordinances, upon the account of such offence at any of their fellow members, but are to wait upon Christ, in the further proceeding of the church.” (1689 LBC, Chapter 26, Article 13)

This is the last article in a four post series.

Intro to Power-Play in the Church

Part 1: Recognizing the Satanic Strategies of Power-Play

Part 2: Resisting Power-Play in the Church

Part 3: Responding Biblically to Power-Players

Bettie’s Testimony

14 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by in Boasting in Weaknesses, Call to the Cross, Christian Love, Cross-Bearing, Family, Marriage, Testimony, The Believing 21st Centruy American Woman, The Christian Home, The Glory of God, The Kindness of God, The Sovereignty of God

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“And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” Revelation 12:11

The testimony of God’s work in the lives of His dear children is a source of great encouragement to me- especially, the testimonies of the older saints that have walked with God for a long time. I love to listen to His beloved ones testify to God’s faithfulness to them through the decades. Bettie is one of those older saints who has walked with God for many years. Her story is one of the most remarkable testimonies of God’s sustaining grace that I have ever heard in my life.

Here, Bettie shares the hard truth about her painful marriage. She tells about the decades of her life that were full of rejection, loneliness, and longing. She even shares about her own personal struggle with the temptation to find some way out of her marriage commitment- either by suicide or divorce. And, then she shares about the abounding grace and the astounding providence of God that kept her from both of these things. She shares about how after 58 years of marriage, God answered her prayers and gave her the desires of her heart by blessing her relationship with her husband beyond her wildest imagination. Most importantly, Bettie shares how God used the severe mercy of a painful marriage to conform her into the image of Christ, teach her to love her husband selflessly, and trust God with her marriage, her emotional needs, her very life.

At this time, Bettie is a model of beauty, elegance, and dignity. When I met her, her husband had come to the faith, and their marriage was a testimony of God’s abounding grace for all to see. Bettie shared this testimony at a woman’s retreat that I was part of last year- I share it with her permission. I wanted to post this testimony here because I believe with all my heart that as Christian women we need to be assured of God’s abounding grace to us in the midst of adversity. Really, this testimony is for every believer that would be reminded of the sovereign abounding grace of God. It is, especially, for every Christian woman that needs to know that God is working in her life for her greatest joy and His greatest glory, even through the severe mercy of a difficult marriage.

God’s Grace Abounds in My Life-To God be the Glory

“I became born again a Billy Graham crusade in 1952. Shortly after that, I met my husband, fell in love, and became a Catholic in order to marry him. During our courtship, he was very attentive to me. We married in 1953. I loved my husband more than I loved Jesus.

From the very beginning of marriage, God took me by the hand and led me on a life changing journey. I did not realize it at the time, for many times did I say, “But Father, I do not understand.” In due time God showed me and I now understand. It took my life time to do it.

My husband changed after we married. He would not look at me, talk to me or even say my name. When he came into a room where I was, he acted as though I was not there. There did not seem to be any way that I could please my husband. He always seemed angry. I became a non-person. When I confronted him and asked him why he was treating me that way, he denied he was doing so.

I began to read everything that I could on how to have a happy marriage. I was told on the one hand that if I was not happy in marriage- it was up to me to change it. I was also told not to accuse, but to express how being treated like that made me feel. My husband’s reply was usually, “Why should that bother you? It would not bother me.” He wanted me to live my life, he would live his life, and we would just be friendly with each other.”

As time went on and four children later, I thought of suicide. I remember driving and coming into town at the top of the hill and thinking I could just drive over the cliff with the four children (because I knew that my husband would not care for them). Suicide- the thought gave me energy. For a whole week I tried to decide how to do it. By the end of the week, I knew that I could not and would not do it. (God’s grace!)

Years went by, and somewhere about the fifteenth or sixteenth year of our marriage, God led me to a Bible study. (God’s grace, yeah!). I knew attending the Catholic Church something was seriously wrong. I did not know what it was. I found out by studying the Bible. The Bible, the precious Word of God, was like (and still is) sweet, sweet water to my parched soul and spirit. I felt like a dry sponge soaking it up.

I began to search the word for a way out of my marriage commitment. NO WAY! What I found were two very important commands for me. I was to be submissive and respectful to my husband. There were no pre-existing conditions, such as a loving husband. No. Those commands were from me from God. I did my best to obey.

Time went by. By this time, we had 8 children. We went for counseling. The counselor at this time, wanted to see us separately. First, he saw me, then he saw my husband. The counselor called me and said that I should divorce my husband. The counselor asked if I had a lawyer. I said, “No.” He said that he would help me get one. I said that I had to think about it. I sat for a long time thinking, going back and forth in my mind, weeping over the whole situation. I did not really want a divorce, but I did not want to continue to live as we were, either. That night there was a fire in the house where the counselor lived. The house burned down and he died in that fire. Thoughts of divorce were gone (God’s grace!) I do not mean to imply that this was God’s grace- that the man died in the fire. It happened, you must take it for what it is. I only know, from then on, I did not think of divorce again.

I continued in Bible studies every week. I learned that we are to pray for our enemies. So, I thought, if I am to pray for my enemies, then I most assuredly had to pray for my husband. I started praying for my husband.

We went to counseling again, together, to a Christian this time, for several months, then stopped. Things did not change, in our marriage. We started again, and stopped, but our marriage remained the same.

I continued to pray for wisdom and guidance for myself, and I continued to pray for my husband.

In Bible study, I was learning that my life, as a Christian, is a struggle; a constant battle between my old nature and my life in Christ. Through all of this, God was helping me to get my priorities straight. I began to want to be more like Jesus. Over time God would reveal my besetting sins- sins of self-pity, bitterness, and the terrible sin of envy. I envied other people’s marriages that I thought were happy. Over and over again, I had to run to God and cry out, “Lord, help me!”

God was teaching me how to be obedient, how to persevere and endure, how to forgive, and how much He loved me. I slowly began to realize that it did not matter if my marriage was happy or not. What began to matter to me was my relationship with God.

By this time, I knew my marriage was not going to change.

I submitted the last vestige of myself to God, and said, “It’s okay. I except this, if this is to be my life, then it’s okay. Help me to be the woman You want me to be.” (God’s grace.)

But wait! God had something more wonderful than I could have imagined for me. By this time, I am 77 years old, and my husband is 80 years old.

God led my husband and me to another Christian counselor. It started out as we were attending counseling for one of our grand-daughters, who was struggling with behavior issues. God led this counselor to see that something was seriously wrong with our marriage relationship. In this Godly man’s counseling, my husband began to see things differently. My husband began to change. He now treats me with love and respect.

I know that were it not for my marriage situation, it would have been something else that God would have used to each me and correct me. Jesus says in John 15:5, “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” Also in John 14:14, “If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.” I asked God to renew my love for my husband, and He did it! After 58 years of marriage, I did not expect this. (Grace abounds in my life.)

I thank God for my life, and the lives of my children that I did not destroy. I thank Him for not allowing me to destroy our family. I thank God for not allowing some other man to come into my life. I was so vulnerable, so lonely, so starving for love, if someone had treated me with the least bit of kindness, I would have succumb, I believe. Thank God, He spared me that temptation!

Through this whole marriage God has become more and more BIG! And, I have become more and more small.

I cannot stress enough how important God’s Word is to me. God’s Word is food for my soul, my very being. I see my own sins. When they were revealed to me, (thank the Lord, not all at once!), the struggle to overcome them made me realize I could not do anything apart from Jesus in my life.

I began to see that I did not really need my husband’s love. I want my husband’s love, but I now know that I am loved far, far greater than I can even put my mind to. This, God’s love for me, truly is everything to me. Jesus does meet all my needs. Through what God has done in my life through Jesus, my love for my husband is different now. My love for him is cleaner, more pure, and unselfish.

This weeding out and fine-tuning that God does takes its time, sometimes a long time, but for me, it was worth it- the suffering, the obedience, and waiting! I like the way Spurgeon worded it- “No, our master’s experience teaches us that suffering is necessary, and the true-born child of God must not, would not escape it if he might.”

Easy to make Gluten-Free, Leaven-Free Communion Bread

05 Saturday Mar 2016

Posted by in Christian Love, Christian Service, Family, Motherhood

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“Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.”  (1 Corinthians 10:17 ESV)

There are several believers in our church fellowship that are gluten-free. So, a few nights ago my husband asked me to find a gluten-free bread recipe to prepare for this Sunday’s communion service. He not only wanted the bread to be gluten-free for our GF brothers and sisters, but he also wanted it to be a one-loaf, leaven-free bread that all of the believers in the church could have. The following is a link to the GFJules’ Gluten-Free Pita or Naan Bread recipe that I found. This recipe is EXTREMELY EASY to prepare, tastes great (not that it matters a whole lot), and best of all it is gluten-free, leaven-free, and easy to make as one loaf.

http://gfjules.com/recipes/easy-gluten-free-flatbreads-pita-or-naan-bread/

FYI: I didn’t have any of the recommended GF flour on hand, so I used what I had. And, instead of making five mini-loafs, I made one loaf. In order to do this and not have any issues with the bread, I greased the parchment paper and spread the dough out with a greased a pie roller (much like I would have if I was making a pie crust). I then baked it for ten minutes at 425 degrees on convection bake, flipped it, and gave it four minutes more on the other side. Baking this bread takes like twenty minutes from start to finish. If you have a need for a gluten-free, leaven-free, one-loaf type of communion bread- this recipe is perfect. Thanks to GF Jules- your bread is just what I was looking for.

How Can A Believer Not Be Grieved By Watching Sin?

13 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by in Chastity, Christian Love, Confession of Sin, Exhortation, Holiness, Hypocricy, Pauline Theology, Repentance, Sin, The Believing 21st Centruy American Woman, The Holy Spirit

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A brother in the Lord recently posted the following commentary about a movie that is in the theaters right now (I am not going to mention the name of the movie- it is irrelevant to the point of my post). It left me wondering how can a believer not be grieved by watching immoral entertainment- sin.

“We saw the new _____________ movie as a family for Mother’s Day. It really bothered me. You could see the producers anti-God world-view through the whole movie. It was dark and sometimes evil. There were comments against Jesus multiple times. The women actors wanted to be sexually immoral with ______…and on and on.”

What astonished me about this brother’s commentary of the movie wasn’t so much that the movie was full of that stuff, but some of the responses that other professing Christians had to his post. One person disagreed with the post outright and another accused him of undue criticism. That was interesting to me, because if you re-read what he wrote, you will see that he did not criticize the movie at all. He stated three things: 1st- that he saw the movie, 2nd- that the movie bothered him, and 3rd- he explained – point by point – why the movie bothered him. Logically, (and I do mean ‘logically’ in a ‘logical syllogism’ sort of way- not just the expression), it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to disagree with him, or to say that he was being critical. After all, he only shared, how he felt about the movie and why he felt that way about the movie. If what he wrote about the movie is true (and I am assuming that it is, since I have not seen it, but I know this person well enough to know that he is not lying), he was neither being critical, nor did he write anything that can be logically disagreed with.

Now, the point of me sharing this is that I do not understand how any Christian could see a movie which intentionally presents an anti-God world view, has a ‘dark and evil’ undercurrent, misuses and abuses of the name of Jesus Christ, contains multiple scenes of crude sexual immorality, and enjoy it, calling it ‘entertainment’. Something seems ‘off’ to me about that. Our friend felt as I’d think all believers would feel after being exposed to those sins, after watching immoral entertainment that depicts those sins.

Of course, I understand that all true Christians desire to avoid being legalistic. We should avoid legalism- at all costs- for legalism (pharisaism) puts people in hell, just as much as gross immorality does (maybe even more so). And, Jesus Himself warned, “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you cross land and sea to make one convert, and then you turn that person into twice the child of hell you yourselves are!” (Matthew 23:15). But, we need to be honest with ourselves, being entertained by sin is not what the Lord had in mind when He said that. We know that because, in another place,  the Word commands that Christians, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord“ (Hebrews 12:14). To me, that is a terrifying thought – not seeing the Lord, for not being holy. I know that in some theological constructs the ‘once saved always saved’ paradigm frees people from taking the necessity of the pursuit of holiness seriously, but it shouldn’t, since people that are really saved (i.e., the regenerate) pursue holiness. So, setting the issue of legalism aside, I still ask, how can a believer not be grieved by watching sin?  

I use to think that some believers just had more liberty for stuff like that than I did. I reasoned that since the Lord saved me out of sin, movies that depict my former lifestyle bother me more than they bother other believers that have no personal history with deep immorality. I use to think to myself, “Self, you know what this issue is really all about? It is about Christian Liberty. I am the Proverbial weaker brother- in Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8. Other Christians can watch pornographic scenes, and not be bothered, because they were probably never exposed to real pornography and they probably never saw the devastating effects that porn has on a home, or on a person. Other Christians can pay money to listen to people use the Lord’s name being used as a vulgarity with out it bothering them. After all, they were probably not raised as godless as I was…” When I was a girl, I heard the Lord’s name used as a swear all the time. I had no idea that it was a sin to say His name in vain. So, when I started to grow in my faith and I saw older believers watching and listening to immoral things, I just assumed that they had more liberty than I did.  But, now I know the Word well enough to know that enjoying immoral entertainment and enjoying an occasional glass of wine is not the same thing. (Although, for the record I do not, personally, have the liberty to drink alcoholic beverages.) So, I still do not get it, how can a believer not be grieved by watching sin?

I have known quite a few very sincere people who think that they have an edge on evangelism, because they can use what ever movie or questionable activity they are involved in as a platform for the Gospel (with the unsaved). They can be especially critical of Christians, like me, that question whether we should enjoy those types of movies and entertainment. I can understand that mentality. I would only say that the Lord taught that the Holy Spirit was going to come to earth to “…convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment” (John 16:8). Therefore, if our lives are not useful to that end- we are probably not as evangelistic as we think that we are. Besides, when I was in the world- I thought lukewarm Christians were hypocrites, not culturally relevant. So I still do not get it, how can a believer not be grieved by watching sin?  

Jesus Christ was tortured and crucified for sin. We, who are saved, are being spared the awful eternal consequences of our sin because of that torturous crucifixion. As Christians we are saying that we have turned away from our lives of sin and turned towards God in a pursuit of His holiness for His glory and His purposes. Immoral entertainment glorifies sin and death- it glorifies the opposite of what we are suppose to glorify- namely, Jesus, the conqueror of sin and death. Immoral entertainment also feeds our sin-appetites, and gratifies our debased desires vicariously. The people that make immoral movies will go to hell if they do not repent. And, the people that enjoy the depravity depicted in immoral entertainment are also going to hell, unless they repent. And since there is nothing entertaining about hell, sin, immorality, or Christ’s death, I don’t get it, how can a believer not be grieved by watching sin?  

Doesn’t Ephesians 4:17-24 seem to address this issue of immoral entertainment? Isn’t this the type of thing that Paul could have been talking about when he wrote,   “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” This passage of Scripture is one of the reasons that I ask, how can a believer not be grieved by watching sin? 

My Son’s Favorite Bible Account (And a Free Bible Searching Tool)

06 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by in Bible Reading, Biblical Parenting, Boasting in Weaknesses, Christian Love, Edification, Education, Family, Free Faith Builders, Friendship

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I was showing my son John how to use the Bible-Hub search engine (Bible.hub is some pretty nifty free online software for searching the Bible). So I asked him, “What do you want to look up?” He said, “Cup of water- like David’s mighty men.” (He is twelve.) So we typed it in, and next thing you know we have 2 Samuel 23:13-17 printed out (in a really cool font, of course), and hanging above his desk in his bedroom. After we looked it up, John said, “I love that account. Its just so great to see how much his friends loved him.” I was like, “It really is.” So I decided to post it. John was right, it really is so great to see how much David’s friends (mighty men) loved him- and to see how much he loved his friends. Bible-hub link follows.

2 Samuel 23:13-17

“And three of the thirty chief men went down and came about harvest time to David at the cave of Adullam, when a band of Philistines was encamped in the Valley of Rephaim . David was then in the stronghold, and the garrison of the Philistines was then at Bethlehem. And David said longingly, “Oh, that someone would give me water to drink from the well of Bethlehem that is by the gate!” Then the three mighty men broke through the camp of the Philistines and drew water out of the well of Bethlehem that was by the gate and carried and brought it to David. But he would not drink of it. He poured it out to the Lord and said, “Far be it from me, O Lord, that I should do this. Shall I drink the blood of the men who went at the risk of their lives?” Therefore he would not drink it. These things the three mighty men did.”

http://biblehub.com/

Take the Arrogance Test with Todd Friel

04 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by in Christian Love, Confession of Sin, Edification, Repentance, Sin, The Believing 21st Centruy American Woman, Wretched/Todd Friel

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It has been a while since I posted anything from Wretched.  The other day I came across the “Arrogance Test,” administered by Todd Friel. I found it to be wonderfully convicting, yet slightly entertaining in a Todd Friel-ish-edgy-sin-exposing sort of way (if you know what I mean). As for me, I’m glad I spent three minutes and fifty-five seconds of my life taking this test- it helped me see an area of my soul that needs a little mortification; that is, a little more sin-killing-effort. So I figured, “Why not spread the love?” If you like it, there is a link to Wretched on my blog. You can find it by scrolling down and looking to your reading left.

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John Piper on Prostituted Knowing

12 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by in Boasting in Weaknesses, Christian Love, Christian Service, Edification, Education, Encouragement, Exhortation, The Believing 21st Centruy American Woman

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Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3 

So the crucial question is: “What would turn this imagined knowing into true knowing?” In other words, what does it mean to know as one ought to know? To think as one ought to think? The answer is in the text before and behind.

Before, Paul had said love builds up (v.1). That implies that any knowledge that does not stand in the service of love is not real knowing. It is prostituted knowing. It is as though God put surgical tools in our hands and taught us how to save the sick, but we turned them into a clever juggling act while patients died. Knowing and thinking exist for the sake of love- for the sake of building people up in faith. Thinking that produces pride instead of love is not true thinking-. We only imagine that we are thinking. God does not see it as thinking. It’s not surgery; it’s juggling.

-John Piper, Taken from Think: The Life of the Mind and the Love of God (pp.159-160).