Category Archives: The Christian Home

Hadassah’s Words

18 Tuesday Jul 2017

Posted by in Call to the Cross, Testimony, The Christian Home

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“I am young in years, and you are old; that is why I was fearful, not daring to tell you what I know. I thought, ‘Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.’ But it is the spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding. It is not only the old who are wise, nor only the aged who understand what is right.”        
Job 32:6-9   
We all must bear the cross in our lives, as our Lord carried His for us. Perhaps we are not always given the choice as to which one we are willing to bear; but God, in His great mercy, knows what will bring about the greatest transformative work in our hearts, and I think that is what He is after. I would never have chosen my cross. I could not choose it. But I thank God with all my heart for using heartbreak and loss to teach me just how kind, loving, and gracious He is to all who reach out to Him from the darkest, lowest places.

My daughter, Hadassah, died when she was 18 years old. In her short life, the Lord took her on a high adventure that was fraught with peril and uncertainty; but as He promises, He swooped down at just the right time to rescue a dear heart who cried out to Him for mercy. His love, indeed, never fails.

And an incredible surprise awaited us on the other side of our daughter’s death. A gift of infinite comfort and grace. A hidden jewel that had been in the making for years. A month or two before Hadassah died she told me that she had felt compelled to write all her life. But no one had ever seen the treasure that she called her journals. They were carefully guarded so that no one would see them until the appointed hour. At first we thought that perhaps they were intended for us alone, her family, as a gift to aid us in our grief. But the more we read, the more we were sure that this hidden legacy was an offering of love from Hadassah to the One who said, “I’ve got you, my dear. I could never let a little one like you fall. And I will show you just how much I love you by what I will allow you to do for my kingdom and for my glory.”

That is when Hadassah’s Words were born. She tells her story, the story of a God who seeks to save that which was lost, who restores all that a dreaded enemy meant to steal, and who fights the final battle until the victory is won. Here are Hadassah’s Words. Here is the triumph that is found in God alone.

Hadassah’s Words

Seven Pillars of Prayer

27 Saturday Aug 2016

Posted by in Family, Marriage, Motherhood, On Love and Marriage, On Prayer, The Believing 21st Centruy American Woman, The Christian Home, The Fear of God, The Glory of God, The Kindness of God, The Sovereignty of God

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“Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn her seven pillars.” Proverbs 9:1

Lady Wisdom has set an example for us: she has built her house; she has hewn out her seven pillars. In following her lead, I have hewn my own seven pillars out of the Word of God, and I have been prayerfully building my house (my life) and my home (my family life) upon them since.

It was interesting to me to learn that the word hewn has two meanings- both of which served me well as I attempted to practically apply this Proverb to my life. The first meaning is to ‘chop or cut out something with a tool.’ The second meaning is ‘to conform to, adhere to’. As you read through these seven pillars, you can know that I prayerfully cut these seven pillars out of the rock of the Word of God. And, now each morning, as I pray through them, I ask the Lord to give me the ability to recognize these pillars at work in my daily life. I also ask Him to conform my desires, will, and actions to them, so that I gladly and willingly adhere to Him and His will in all things.

Although pillars in our day might primarily serve as a decorative aspect in house construction, there was a time in architectural history that pillars functioned as key load-bearing components in a building’s (space’s) structure. Likewise, these seven prayer-pillars are not superfluous appendages to the design of my house- they are seven essential doctrines upon which I am building my life.

  1. The glory of God – for which all things exist and is His perfect will (Leviticus 10:3, Exodus 33:17-23; Isaiah 43:6-7; Colossians 1:16).
  2. The sovereignty of God – a proper acknowledgment and acceptance of this brings an appropriate love for, respect of, and obedience to God (Proverbs 16:33, 21:1; Isaiah 45:5-7; Acts 2:23-241 Timothy 6:11-16).
  3. The faithfulness of God – which strengthens, comforts, and assures me of His love, especially in the midst of adversity (Lamentations 3: 22-24; 1 Corinthians 13:12-13; 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24; 2 Timothy 1:12).
  4. The promises of God – upon which I can stake my life and gain guidance for every decision that I must make (Isaiah 55:10-11; John 17:17; 2 Corinthians 1: 17-22).
  5. The fear of God – which is the beginning of wisdom and the confidence of my life (Job 28:28; Proverbs 14:33, Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).
  6. The hope of the kingdom of God and of His Christ – which is surely to come soon (Luke 11:2; Titus 2:11-14; Philippians 1:6; Colossians 1:13-14; Revelation 11:15).
  7. The meekness of wisdom– which is supported by every other pillar in my life and is  the proof that I am building my home like the wise woman of Proverbs 14:1. (Luke 7:35; Philippians 2:1-7; James 3:13).

Bettie’s Testimony

14 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by in Boasting in Weaknesses, Call to the Cross, Christian Love, Cross-Bearing, Family, Marriage, Testimony, The Believing 21st Centruy American Woman, The Christian Home, The Glory of God, The Kindness of God, The Sovereignty of God

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“And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” Revelation 12:11

The testimony of God’s work in the lives of His dear children is a source of great encouragement to me- especially, the testimonies of the older saints that have walked with God for a long time. I love to listen to His beloved ones testify to God’s faithfulness to them through the decades. Bettie is one of those older saints who has walked with God for many years. Her story is one of the most remarkable testimonies of God’s sustaining grace that I have ever heard in my life.

Here, Bettie shares the hard truth about her painful marriage. She tells about the decades of her life that were full of rejection, loneliness, and longing. She even shares about her own personal struggle with the temptation to find some way out of her marriage commitment- either by suicide or divorce. And, then she shares about the abounding grace and the astounding providence of God that kept her from both of these things. She shares about how after 58 years of marriage, God answered her prayers and gave her the desires of her heart by blessing her relationship with her husband beyond her wildest imagination. Most importantly, Bettie shares how God used the severe mercy of a painful marriage to conform her into the image of Christ, teach her to love her husband selflessly, and trust God with her marriage, her emotional needs, her very life.

At this time, Bettie is a model of beauty, elegance, and dignity. When I met her, her husband had come to the faith, and their marriage was a testimony of God’s abounding grace for all to see. Bettie shared this testimony at a woman’s retreat that I was part of last year- I share it with her permission. I wanted to post this testimony here because I believe with all my heart that as Christian women we need to be assured of God’s abounding grace to us in the midst of adversity. Really, this testimony is for every believer that would be reminded of the sovereign abounding grace of God. It is, especially, for every Christian woman that needs to know that God is working in her life for her greatest joy and His greatest glory, even through the severe mercy of a difficult marriage.

God’s Grace Abounds in My Life-To God be the Glory

“I became born again a Billy Graham crusade in 1952. Shortly after that, I met my husband, fell in love, and became a Catholic in order to marry him. During our courtship, he was very attentive to me. We married in 1953. I loved my husband more than I loved Jesus.

From the very beginning of marriage, God took me by the hand and led me on a life changing journey. I did not realize it at the time, for many times did I say, “But Father, I do not understand.” In due time God showed me and I now understand. It took my life time to do it.

My husband changed after we married. He would not look at me, talk to me or even say my name. When he came into a room where I was, he acted as though I was not there. There did not seem to be any way that I could please my husband. He always seemed angry. I became a non-person. When I confronted him and asked him why he was treating me that way, he denied he was doing so.

I began to read everything that I could on how to have a happy marriage. I was told on the one hand that if I was not happy in marriage- it was up to me to change it. I was also told not to accuse, but to express how being treated like that made me feel. My husband’s reply was usually, “Why should that bother you? It would not bother me.” He wanted me to live my life, he would live his life, and we would just be friendly with each other.”

As time went on and four children later, I thought of suicide. I remember driving and coming into town at the top of the hill and thinking I could just drive over the cliff with the four children (because I knew that my husband would not care for them). Suicide- the thought gave me energy. For a whole week I tried to decide how to do it. By the end of the week, I knew that I could not and would not do it. (God’s grace!)

Years went by, and somewhere about the fifteenth or sixteenth year of our marriage, God led me to a Bible study. (God’s grace, yeah!). I knew attending the Catholic Church something was seriously wrong. I did not know what it was. I found out by studying the Bible. The Bible, the precious Word of God, was like (and still is) sweet, sweet water to my parched soul and spirit. I felt like a dry sponge soaking it up.

I began to search the word for a way out of my marriage commitment. NO WAY! What I found were two very important commands for me. I was to be submissive and respectful to my husband. There were no pre-existing conditions, such as a loving husband. No. Those commands were from me from God. I did my best to obey.

Time went by. By this time, we had 8 children. We went for counseling. The counselor at this time, wanted to see us separately. First, he saw me, then he saw my husband. The counselor called me and said that I should divorce my husband. The counselor asked if I had a lawyer. I said, “No.” He said that he would help me get one. I said that I had to think about it. I sat for a long time thinking, going back and forth in my mind, weeping over the whole situation. I did not really want a divorce, but I did not want to continue to live as we were, either. That night there was a fire in the house where the counselor lived. The house burned down and he died in that fire. Thoughts of divorce were gone (God’s grace!) I do not mean to imply that this was God’s grace- that the man died in the fire. It happened, you must take it for what it is. I only know, from then on, I did not think of divorce again.

I continued in Bible studies every week. I learned that we are to pray for our enemies. So, I thought, if I am to pray for my enemies, then I most assuredly had to pray for my husband. I started praying for my husband.

We went to counseling again, together, to a Christian this time, for several months, then stopped. Things did not change, in our marriage. We started again, and stopped, but our marriage remained the same.

I continued to pray for wisdom and guidance for myself, and I continued to pray for my husband.

In Bible study, I was learning that my life, as a Christian, is a struggle; a constant battle between my old nature and my life in Christ. Through all of this, God was helping me to get my priorities straight. I began to want to be more like Jesus. Over time God would reveal my besetting sins- sins of self-pity, bitterness, and the terrible sin of envy. I envied other people’s marriages that I thought were happy. Over and over again, I had to run to God and cry out, “Lord, help me!”

God was teaching me how to be obedient, how to persevere and endure, how to forgive, and how much He loved me. I slowly began to realize that it did not matter if my marriage was happy or not. What began to matter to me was my relationship with God.

By this time, I knew my marriage was not going to change.

I submitted the last vestige of myself to God, and said, “It’s okay. I except this, if this is to be my life, then it’s okay. Help me to be the woman You want me to be.” (God’s grace.)

But wait! God had something more wonderful than I could have imagined for me. By this time, I am 77 years old, and my husband is 80 years old.

God led my husband and me to another Christian counselor. It started out as we were attending counseling for one of our grand-daughters, who was struggling with behavior issues. God led this counselor to see that something was seriously wrong with our marriage relationship. In this Godly man’s counseling, my husband began to see things differently. My husband began to change. He now treats me with love and respect.

I know that were it not for my marriage situation, it would have been something else that God would have used to each me and correct me. Jesus says in John 15:5, “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” Also in John 14:14, “If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.” I asked God to renew my love for my husband, and He did it! After 58 years of marriage, I did not expect this. (Grace abounds in my life.)

I thank God for my life, and the lives of my children that I did not destroy. I thank Him for not allowing me to destroy our family. I thank God for not allowing some other man to come into my life. I was so vulnerable, so lonely, so starving for love, if someone had treated me with the least bit of kindness, I would have succumb, I believe. Thank God, He spared me that temptation!

Through this whole marriage God has become more and more BIG! And, I have become more and more small.

I cannot stress enough how important God’s Word is to me. God’s Word is food for my soul, my very being. I see my own sins. When they were revealed to me, (thank the Lord, not all at once!), the struggle to overcome them made me realize I could not do anything apart from Jesus in my life.

I began to see that I did not really need my husband’s love. I want my husband’s love, but I now know that I am loved far, far greater than I can even put my mind to. This, God’s love for me, truly is everything to me. Jesus does meet all my needs. Through what God has done in my life through Jesus, my love for my husband is different now. My love for him is cleaner, more pure, and unselfish.

This weeding out and fine-tuning that God does takes its time, sometimes a long time, but for me, it was worth it- the suffering, the obedience, and waiting! I like the way Spurgeon worded it- “No, our master’s experience teaches us that suffering is necessary, and the true-born child of God must not, would not escape it if he might.”

Barbara’s Testimony

03 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by in Biblical Parenting, Edification, Family, Motherhood, Salvation, Testimony, The Believing 21st Centruy American Woman, The Christian Home

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“And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.”   (Revelation 12:11 ESV).

When I met Barbara seven years ago, she shared her testimony with me. Although, until recently, I had not seen her for about four years, I had never forgotten what she had shared with me that night. How God had sovereignly intervened in her life through her children’s involvement with a local youth ministry. How at a time of great difficulty in dealing with her first husband’s addiction and subsequent death, God was working for her salvation and her joy. And, how God brought her husband Michael and her together for a long joyful marriage of service to God. Barbara came to know the Lord 44 years ago, and yet her love and exuberance for Jesus is as contagious as if she just came to know Him. The Lord has carried her through years of difficulty and living life in a fallen world. Her testimony can and, I believe, will encourage any woman who needs to be reminded that the Lord is sovereign. And, that for those that love Him, He is working all things together- (all things including the addictions of loved ones, widowhood, single parent child-rearing, church ministry)- for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.   (Romans 8:28 ESV)

Barbara’s Testimony

“I was born and raised in the Roman Catholic church faith from 1931 to 1972 when Jesus changed my life. I attended Sacred Heart School in Yonkers, NY from kindergarten through high school graduation in 1948. I received First Communion at age 8, and Confirmation at age 12, attended all Novena services, sang in the choir, and prayed the Rosary novenas. One of my uncles was a Roman Catholic priest, and my Father was a St. LaSalle teaching brother at Manhattan College until he had to leave the order to take care of his mother and sisters when his father died. My mother’s family also were strong Roman Catholics.

In 1953 I was married in the Catholic Church. God gave us four boys and four girls. In 1974, my oldest daughter was invited to a service in a Baptist church, and I gave her my permission to go there.

My husband had a problem with alcohol and our family was suffering from the results of his addiction, but he was unwilling to get help. After being out of work as an accountant for a company involved with hotels and motels he finally, after a year at home, went for a job interview and, as I found out later, he was hired. On the train coming home, he had been talking with people in the bar-car and got off at the wrong station. When he realized his mistake he tried to get on the moving train, but people tried to pull him off. When they let go of him- he lost his grip and went under the wheels. He died an hour later at the hospital. That was November 6, 1970.

I started to notice my daughter who had gone to the Baptist church taking her Bible and notebook to her favorite spot every day and sharing with her brothers things that she was learning. I went to see my parish priest and asked him what he thought about the Baptists. The only answer he gave me was, “Keep yourself and your children away from them.”

My daughter was telling her brothers about the things she was learning and I started to notice a change in their behavior. To satisfy my curiosity, I invited the youth group to have choir practice in my home. I heard the messages of love for the Lord and reaching out to people with the message of God’s love that changes lives. I found out the reason why Jesus had to die a horrible death. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate the forbidden fruit, the stain of their sin of disobedience was passed on to every person who was born. Baby baptism does not remove the stain of sin. The person being baptized has to acknowledge their separation from God, as they are put under the water to be buried with Christ in His death, and brought up out of the water to be raised out of death to walk with Jesus in newness of life.

On October 30, 1972 at 10:00 A.M. I went into my bedroom to pray the prayer of the rosary devotions. After saying a few Hail Marys my mind turned toward remembering the messages of the songs. One song says, “All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give, I will ever love and trust him, in His presence daily live. I surrender all, all to thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.” With tears rolling down my cheeks, I surrendered my life to my Lord Jesus Christ. I gathered my children around and shared my experience with them. I prayed the sinner’s prayer with each of them, but at different times the Lord gave each one their own experience.”

At one time the Pastor at Calvary Baptist Church needed a secretary and asked me if my daughter Joan could come for an interview and would I be present with her. While Pastor was gathering information from Joan, in my mind the Lord was impressing on me that “This is my job.” In my mind, I told the Lord that Joan was the one being interviewed, not me. Three times the Lord impressed on me that this was my job.

After two years as Pastor’s secretary Joan was offered a job at Rug Works which was owned and operated by members in the congregation. And so, Pastor was, again, without a secretary. Three weeks after Joan left, I asked Pastor if he needed a secretary. His answer to me was, “When can you start?” The next day I began my career as a church secretary, which lasted until my retirement in 2006.

My children Anne, George, and I were baptized by immersion in 1973.

I served the Lord under Pastors Haire, Farber, and the present Pastor Pandolfi.

While I was secretary I was involved with the youth group, and for three summers my two-week vacation was used traveling with the youth group to churches, sharing the Gospel message. My brother and sister-in-law stayed with the children while I was away.

On November 6, 1974, Billy Graham had a crusade on television ministering to young people and my future husband Michael listened to the message. In the course of his life, he had traveled around and worked at Yellowstone national park. He had met some people who shared the gospel with him. As he listened to the message, he remembered the things that had been shared with him in his travels. When the invitation was given, he poured his heart out to invite Jesus to take control of his life. He prayed asking the Lord where he should go to church. He remembered seeing a church being built not far from where he was staying.

The first person he saw was the minister of youth. Michael said to him, “Is this where you find Jesus?” Of course the answer was, “Yes, Sir, you’re in the right place.”

After about a year of observing how involved I was with the youth group and gathering information from church members, Mike found out that I was a widow with 8 children, a church secretary, a piano teacher for children of two families who were church members, a Sunday school teacher (4th grade students), leader of ladies Bible studies, sang special music in some of the services, and had traveled with the “Agape” youth group for two weeks, two summers (to Georgia one year and Niagara Falls another year). Mike went to a family in the church and expressed to them his desire to ask me for a date. They encouraged him to ask me. I agreed to do Bible Studies with him. We waited three years before we got engaged and three years before we got married.

My husband and I now live in an apartment complex in Port Jervis, New York, with 49 other families; and we share the Gospel message as the Lord leads. My eight children, Anne. James, Robert, Joan, George, Kathleen, William, and Maryan have their own families and live in different states.

As a side note, When I was still searching for answers, and had gone to the priest and asked him what he thought about the Baptist church, the only answer that got from him was “Keep yourself and your children away from the Baptists.” I also wrote to the Bishop of Rockville center, New York City, and I asked him if her knew if he would go to heaven. His secretary sent me a short note saying, “We have to leave that up to the Lord.”

I remained a Catholic for about one year after I accepted the Lord, and I left tracks regarding the Lord’s message of salvation where people might find them. Before I was saved, I had been elected ‘Corresponding Secretary’ of the Rosary Society; but, because I had given my life to the Lord, I gave back all the materials they gave me. I also took my daughter’s best friend to one of the ladies homes to witness to her. I never saw that lady again. Some nights I stayed up all night reading the Bible, and when the children left for school I would go to bed for a few hours.”

Follow-up Post on ‘Can A Believer Not Be Grieved By Watching Sin?’ with Trip Lee

20 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by in Chastity, Confession of Sin, Encouragement, Exhortation, Holiness, Hypocricy, Repentance, Sin, The Believing 21st Centruy American Woman, The Christian Home

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I heard this on the Desiring God Pod-Cast. Episode 597 (May 15, 2015) was a question/answer session with Trip Lee, a Reformed Christian Rapper, addressing the issue of believers watching on-screen nudity. I have posted a link to it here, as a follow up to my previous post, “How Can A Believer Not Be Grieved By Watching Sin?”. 

Watching On-Screen Nudity Is Not Worth It with Trip Lee.

http://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/watching-on-screen-nudity-is-not-worth-it