Tag Archives: The Fear of Man

Death by Public Confession and Life by the Grace of God

24 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by in Call to the Cross, Confession of Sin, John Owen, Repentance, Sanctification, Sin

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“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.  On account of these the wrath of God is coming.  In these you too once walked, when you were living in them.  But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices, and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.” Colossians 3:5-9

The other day I posted a prayer of confession. In it I detailed some of the specific out-workings that the fear of man has had in my life. Some may wonder why I did that. Someone might ask a question like, ‘Isn’t it humiliating to publicly own such a low and cowardly sin as that of man-fearing?’ Or, someone might wonder “Doesn’t she feel any shame or embarrassment about admitting that her fear of man has given birth to a multitude of other sins in her life- sins like those of sulking, self-pity, murmuring, complaining, and gossip?” And, the answer to that question is, well, yes, actually, it is very embarrassing to publicly confess my sin- and, in large part, that is why I posted Confessions of a MAN-PLEASER.

John Owen wrote, “Do you mortify; do you make it your daily work; be always at it whilst you live; cease not a day from this work; be killing sin or it will be killing you.” The public confession of my man-fearing was one of many personal attempts to kill my sin of people-pleasing. For me, embarrassment is a very effective tool in the practice of the mortification of sin. When I feel embarrassed by something- I want to get away from it. Or, to put it in Bible language, embarrassment over my sin makes me want to “…put off the old self with its practices…” and to “…put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.” I have also found that for me, genuine intentional self-abasement is a pre-curser to humbleness of mind; and humbleness of mind prepares my heart to receive the grace of Christ- His grace to overcome my sin; His grace to walk in the new life that He has called me to; and His grace to receive more of His grace.

Grace empowers me to “…put to death whatever is earthly…” in me (like, my fear of man), by teaching me how to “…put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.”  That is, grace enables me to put on the life of Christ, and be renewed by the promises of the Word of God which reveal all of the perfections of Christ; His person, His character, His image, and His glory.

The following are four verses that I am praying over in the continuing effort to put my man-pleasing tendencies to death, so that I can live in the joyful, victorious freedom of living in the fear of God. I might be battling this particular sin for the rest of my life. Although, Monday’s public confession proved to be a decisive victory in the on-going battle with this particular sin. No less, I am certain that John Owen was right. I need to “…make killing sin my daily work – I better be always at it while I live; and cease not a day from this work. I better be killing sin or it will be killing me.” So, in the end, I am okay with feeling the shame of my sin. Actually, I welcome it. If by feeling it more acutely, I can more earnestly welcome and more powerfully experience the grace of God – why wouldn’t I?

“The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.” Psalm 18:10

“Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he?” Isaiah 2:22

“Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them.” Jeremiah 1:17

 “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

Confessions of a MAN-PLEASER

18 Saturday Apr 2015

Posted by in Boasting in Weaknesses, Confession of Sin, Hypocricy, Repentance, Sanctification, The Believing 21st Centruy American Woman

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“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.” Proverbs 29:25

Lord, please forgive me for allowing my fear of man to shape an ungodly view of church life in my soul.  I confess that all too often, I have left church on Sunday mornings upset that I wasn’t invited into the “Cool Kid’s Huddle” after service. I confess that instead of leaving church full of rejoicing that I have been accepted into Your family; I have left church sulking that I wasn’t accepted into the “in” crowd. It is so embarrassing that I do this. It is embarrassing that I have even gone to church one time thinking about me at all- let alone having done it countless times. Church is about worshipping You, and serving Your body; not about my pride or my fear of man. Lord please forgive me.

Lord, please forgive me for allowing my fear of man to shape my ungodly speech. I confess that I have often hopped on the “Complaining about Everything Ban-Wagon-”  just so that I could share in conversation with others who were complaining. I have done this even when in reality I didn’t feel upset about anything that You had providentially ordained into my life. I know that the Word says, “Do all things without grumbling or disputing…” (Phil 2: 14). I also know that my complaining and grumbling, has often been motivated by wanting to have something in common with other people, or because I didn’t want others to think that I was being overly pious. (Which is really lame, considering that Christians are supposed to be pious.) In truth Lord, I think that my obsession with people pleasing also accounts for most of the gossip that I have ever shared. It is like I just wanted to be the one with the juiciest morsel of the day- the person who is in ‘the know’ with what’s going on in the lives of others. – Lord, please forgive me- I know that Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Lord, please forgive me for loving the praise of men more than loving the opportunities that You have given me to serve You. I have often allowed my fear of man to make me feel ashamed that You have manifested your grace in me in a different way than You have manifested your grace in the lives of my peers. It has been my fear of man and my pathetic desire to just “fit in” that has given me that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, when I have been called to serve you in a different way than my friends have been called to serve you. I have thought foolish things to myself, like: “What if so and so doesn’t approve?”, or  “What will ‘this one’ or ‘that one’ think of me when she hears about me doing thus and so?”.

Lord, I would have thought that the grace that you have shown me in giving me unique opportunities to serve You- would have caused the other type of pride to well up in side of me. You know the “I am so great, look at me” kind of pride. But, I am such a mess (outside of your grace) that that type of pride is quickly squelched by the reminder of my intrinsic uselessness, my lack of innate intelligence, and the horrifying reality of my sinfulness. Besides, like 1 Corinthians 4:7 says, “For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” Lord, please forgive me- I confess that my pathetic man-pleasing, people-pandering pride has made me so fearful of people that I have sometimes even wanted to forfeit the blessings of Christ and the graces of the Holy Spirit- so that I could just be like everybody else. I mean really, how sad is that? How wicked is that? How sad am I? How wicked am I? I don’t think that it gets more debased than to want to shirk the calling of God just so that I can “fit in” with the world around me.

Lord, please forgive me for my fear of man- it has been a systemic problem in my walk with You.  Even in this brief time of confession I can see how terrible of a snare this sin is to my soul. Please forgive me, please free me, please grant to me the faith that I need to trust in you, and to be kept safe. For Your Word warns me that “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.”